"Models are there to look like mannequins, not like real people. Art and illusion are supposed to be fantasy."
Grace Jones

Are You Ready?

Remember, when you let a mannequin move in, you will both be dealing with the normally-hidden parts of your lifestyle. The moodiness, the gross habits and everything else good and bad will be out in the open. We'll show you what to expect.

Social Implications

It's hard to believe, but even in the enlightened age of Madmen and Californication, some people are still uncomfortable displays of public affection for your plastic pal. We'll show you the arguments and how to counter each one of them.


We understand. It's all about functionality over form. However, at what point does body modification make it cease to be a mannequin? At what point are we destroying the fundamental intent of the manufacturuer ... to say nothing about the warranty?

Is True Love Even Possible?

Admit it, you've walked past a Sears or some other store at your trendy suburban fashion mall. Maybe you've even managed a light fondle or clandestine grope while going up the escalator at Saks Fifth Avenue. Don't worry, it's completely natural to be curious. There are estimated to be as many as thrity-seven or thirty-eight people worldwide who have finally realized that mannequin companionship is a far safer and healthier (mentally and physically) alternative to companionship of the human variety. Imagine a partner who always wants to watch YOUR TV programs, listens intently as you pour all of your problems out to them, and absolutely never brings up shit you said twenty years ago and holds it against you. Okay, so they aren't any better about deciding what restaurant you're going to have dinner at this evening, but I personally am working on Amazon Echo integration with my life partner and have high hopes for success.

Learn About and Embrace the Mannequin Ownership Lifestyle

Yes, if you own a mannequin, your friends will openly call you "creepy" or insist that you need some sort of counseling or some close-minded bullshit like that. It's human nature to be fearful of what you don't understand, especially when you can so easily see yourself participating in the same behavior. Psychologists call this "transference" and it's definitive proof that it's your FRIENDS who need to be locked away in an institution and not you. After all, what's the harm in having a synthetic friend that you choose to spend all of your free time with? It's efficient, it's emotionally healthy, and really it's kind of quaint. Unless, you own more than one mannequin. In that case, you're some kind of freak and we really don't want your kind on this web site, so please just take your sick, perverted ass somewhere else and leave us the hell alone...